You pop some Bowie on. You can't beat a bit of Bowie.\n\n<html><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/CMThz7eQ6K0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></html>\n\nThe bus still hasn't appeared. [[Where is it|Bus Stop 4]]?
You stamp your feet a bit. It doesn't make the bus appear.\n\nYou are pretty damn hungry now and you've been waiting thirty minutes for this bus. You being to lose hope in ever seeing it.\n\nBut it would be mad to give up now, woudn't it? Otherwise you've just wasted thirty minutes of your life.\n\nYou check your watch again, if the bus doesn't arrive in the next ten minutes then you won't be able to go for lunch at all because your friends will already have set off for the cinema.\n\nYou begin to think that maybe you're not too keen on seeing the new Bond film anyway. Certainly not keen enough to sit through two and a half hours with a grumbling stomach.\n\nYou begin to think about the food you have waiting for you in your cupboard.\n\nYou could have [[beans on toast|Beans on Toast]].\n\nOr maybe a [[cheese sandwich|Cheese Sandwich]]? You're not sure if the bread is still good to use though.
Your personal life. This is a scary subject and one that causes a large amount of worry.\n\nYou decide to think about films and games you'd like to buy instead. It's funny but you now own more games, books and DVDs than you could ever watch, but you still want more.\n\nMaybe it's some kind of coping mechanism? Or maybe it's like that movie, They Live, and aliens are controlling you and forcing you to take part in the endless empty cycle of consumption.\n\nThen you start thinking about the fight in the movie between Keith David and Rowdy Roddy Piper and you smile to yourself as you replay it in your mind. \n\n<html><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4-MVMbm6c0k" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></html>\n\nYou eventually snap out of it and realise there's still no sign of the [[bus|Bus Stop 4]].
It's a Sunday afternoon, you're getting ready to go out to have lunch and meet up with friends. You're glad to be leaving the flat for something other than work for the first time in days.\n\nYou plan to see a film after lunch, maybe that new Bond film?\n\nTo get to your lunch meeting you'll need to catch the bus as the walk into town would take just under an hour. Plus it's raining, you definitely don't want to take a long walk in that. Luckily there's a bus stop just across the street, you'll be in town in no time.\n\nYou close the front door and [[step outside|Garden Path]]...
You check the printed timetable. It is a large list and contains many, many bus times. From Monday to Saturday a whole range of buses are available to take you into town and to the promised land of greasy breakfast food.\n\nSunday, however, is a different story. The Sunday section of the timetable is distressingly short. The times on the timetable suggest that the next bus isn't for another thiry minutes.\n\nThe electronic timetable suggests that a bus will arrive in twenty-five minutes. Neither option is any good to you - the bus needs to arrive now!\n\nThe bus doesn't arrive despite your declaration. You even used an exclamation mark but it still didn't make the bus appear.\n\nFood isn't going to be an option now, there's no way you can order some food from the caff and reach the cinema in time.\n\nYou check your watch and realise you've now been waiting for forty minutes.\n\nLooks like it's time to [[give up|Go Home]].
You jog quickly across the road and through the doors of your local corner shop. The shop is long and narrow and you slip down the right hand aisle to reach the drinks fridge. There's an array of carbonated drinks that are certainly bad for you. There's also booze but you think it's a bit early for that and you don't want to look like a mad wino on the bus.\n\nYou pick up a bottle of something sugary and pay the man behind the counter. You don't know his name and he doesn't know yours. You have been shopping here for two years and you're comfortable with the anonymous familiarity you have here.\n\nYou jog back to the bus stop, frantically looking around to see if the bus has driven past the stop while you were in the shop. There doesn't seem to be any sign of a bus. Looks like you got away with it, you daredevil.\n\nContinue to wait for the bus, [[it should be here any minute|Bus Stop 3]].
You have a five day old loaf of bread, you have some cheese (hopefully not too mouldy), and you have a sandwich toaster. Toasted cheese sandwich time.\n\nHopefully the cheese is okay. You sealed it in a sandwich bag and put it in the fridge last time you used it. Yeah, it'll be okay.\n\nForty minutes now. Not a sign of any bus at all.\n\nYou curse the bus gods one last time and head off [[back to your flat|Go Home]].
You put on classic metal album, Reign In Blood. It's not the ideal music to listen to while waiting for the bus but it does at least make the wait seem like a frantic, exciting experience.\n\nYou listen to Raining Blood.\n\n<html><iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/z8ZqFlw6hYg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></html>\n\nWell that was fun, now [[where's the bus|Bus Stop 4]]?
You try to whistle a cheerful tune. You remember that you're rubbish at whistling and produce a sort of faint whistle that resembles no tune known to man.\n\nA dog looks at you quizzically and then carries on about its business.\n\nYou see a large vehicle approach, for a brief moment your heart soars as you think your bus has arrived.\n\nIt is a lorry.\n\nThis is getting stupid now. Why don't they put on more buses on Sunday? This is a city, for crying out loud.\n\nYour mind drifts...\n\n[[The bus still isn't here|Bus Stop 5]].
You stand and think about your job. You don't know where you want to go with it or whether you still want to do what it is you're doing. Do you want more money? Will that make you happy? Will it make the job easier to tolerate?\n\nOr maybe you like your job. Yeah, it's not that bad really, there's a lot worse you could be doing. Your mind tries to make you worry but you manage to squash it all down by thinking about what you're going to have for lunch instead.\n\nAlthough come to think of it, you're convinced that someone else has been using your special tea mug. Last Tuesday it wasn't in the lunchroom cupboard and you couldn't find it, the next day it appeared in the dishwasher. \n\nYou think you might start hiding your mug away.\n\nYou realise you've been staring into space thinking for some time now. Where is that [[bus|Bus Stop 4]]?
You fold your arms, it makes you look like you're sternly waiting for the bus. It's a bit weird. You quickly unfold your arms.\n\nYou needn't have worried, there's no one else on the street. \n\nStill no bus. This is getting annoying now. You're hungry.\n\nHow else can you pass the time?\n\nDo you want to [[whistle a tune|Whistle]]?\n\nOr maybe [[compose a song of your own|Song]]?
You have some bread left, although you think the loaf is about five days old. You reckon it should be okay for toast.\n\nYou have a couple of tins of beans AND sausages. Excellent. Although you might need to do some washing up as you used all the pans the other night.\n\nThis bus isn't coming, is it? It's been forty minutes now. Time to [[give in|Go Home]].
The Bus
Justice's New Lands is a nice track, you decide to listen to that as it will make the wait for the bus feel grander than it is. You imagine you're playing in some future sport where waiting for the bus is an activity filled with excitement and cheering crowds.\n\n<html><iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Gxu248aD6PY" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></html>\n\nYeah, that was good. [[Now where's the bus|Bus Stop 4]]?
You close the front door and look out onto the street. It's raining, a dull drizzly rain, an almost invisible sheet of damp that clings to you. Urgh.\n\nYou notice that the large green recycle bin is still out on the street. It hasn't been brought in since bin day on Friday. Typical, you always end up bringing it in.\n\nOf course, your bus is due in five minutes. Do you want to [[bring the bin in off the street|Bring Bin In]]? Or do you ignore it and head straight for the [[bus stop|Bus Stop 1]]?
You send a text to your friends, it contains several swear words and accusations of incompetence aimed at the local bus companies.\n\nYou then trudge back across the street to your flat. You put the key in door, open the lock, and step back inside. You climb the stairs to your door and step back inside your small, breakfastless flat.\n\nYou hear a rumble from outside and go to your front window. \n\nOf course the bus you spent forty minutes waiting for has just sped past the bus stop.\n\nOf course.\n\nYou sigh, go into the kitchen and craft yourself an unsatisfying breakfast/lunch of whatever looks edible in your cupboard and fridge.\n\nYou then watch one of the many DVDs you have on your shelf.\n\nYou realise that although you missed out on socialising with your friends, you did save yourself well over a tenner.\n\nYou then spend that money on a game you will not play for another eight months.\n\nYOUR ADVENTURE ENDS HERE.
You place your hands in your jacket pockets. Your hands instantly feel warmer.\n\nOther than that, nothing much happens. Time continues to progress and the bus resolutely refuses to appear.\n\nDo you want to [[whistle a tune|Whistle]]?\n\nOr maybe [[compose a song of your own|Song]]?
Still no bus, it's five minutes late now. Typical Sunday service, it's never here when you need it.\n\nAs long as it arrives soon you'll still have time to get some lunch and go to the cinema. You're pretty hungry now.\n\nThere's a thin bench at the bus stop, the kind that's basically something for you to awkwardly lean your arse against. You lean against it, realise it's damp and uncomfortable, then stand up again.\n\nYou stamp your feet a bit. \n\nYou look up at the electronic timetable and the bus has disappeared from the listing to be replaced with one that's due to appear in an hour.\n\nIt's just an automatic thing. It's fine. The bus is on its way, the timetable just doesn't know any better.\n\nYou check your iPod, it has run out of juice. You forgot to charge it and now you'll have to wait for the bus in silence.\n\nSigh. \n\nDo you put your [[hands in your pockets|Pockets]]? Or do you stand there, [[arms folded|Arms Folded]]?
Right, it's twenty minutes late now. This is taking the piss.\n\nI mean, what is the point of a bus service that doesn't run properly on Sundays? Not everyone can afford/be arsed to learn to drive. \n\nYou need the bus to get food and entertainment. This is surely contravening your human rights.\n\nYou sigh and pick up your phone and send a text to your friends.\n\n"Looks like I'll be late. Bloody bus hasn't turned up."\n\nYou could play a game on your phone to pass the time but it's an old one from 2004 or something and only has Backgammon on it. You've only ever played Backgammon once and you can't remember the rules.\n\nYou're running out of time now, you don't think you'll have enough time to have lunch and see a film.\n\nProblem is, you haven't eaten today. You can't go and see a two and a half hour film without food first. \n\nAnd no, cinema food isn't food. It doesn't count.\n\nThis is very worrying.\n\nYou can [[stamp your feet|Stamp]] or you can check the [[printed timetable|Timetable]]. Maybe the electronic one is a liar?
You walk a small way down the street and cross the road to reach the bus stop. Luckily it has a shelter so you don't have to stand in the drizzle.\n\nThe electronic board claims that the next bus is the 132. It will arrive in 3 minutes. It is not one of your favourite buses as it is operated by a different bus company to the one in the city and it doesn't offer the cheap all day bus tickets that you like to buy. It is however, 10p cheaper than the other bus company. As it is Sunday there are no other buses available for the next hour so you will have to catch this one.\n\nYou check your watch and then look down the street. It is quiet today, the corner shop down the road doesn't seem to be attracting much business at the moment.\n\nDo you want to nip across the road and grab a drink from the [[shop|The Shop]]? There's only 2 minutes or so until the bus arrives though.\n\nOr do you want to stand and [[wait|Bus Stop 2]]? The bus will be here soon and you can always get a drink at Ramon's (your favourite greasy spoon).
You stand and wait, you could put your headphones in and listen to some music, but you decide to wait until you're on the bus.\n\nAfter all, the bus should be here any minute.\n\nYou're alone with your thoughts. Which anxiety gnaws away at you?\n\nIs it your [[job|Job]]? \n\nIs it your [[personal life|Personal Life]]?\n\n[[Money|Money]]?\n\nOr would you prefer to listen to some music and avoid any uncomfortable thoughts?\n\nThe savagery of [[Slayer|SLAYER]]?\n\nThe pleasant electro of [[Justice|Justice]]?\n\nA bit of [[Bowie|Bowie]]?
Well that wasted some time. The bus should be here any minute now. Any minute.\n\nNow.\n\nAny minute.\n\nHmmm...\n\nYou remember a friend of your used to light up a cigarette to "summon the bus". It almost always worked. You don't smoke though so your method is to put your headphones in and select an album on your iPod. \n\nIt doesn't always work, in fact it rarely does, but it will pass the time until the bus's inevtiable arrival.\n\nAlso the music will stop you thinking too much about stuff.\n\nNow what to choose...\n\nThe savagery of [[Slayer|SLAYER]]?\n\nThe pleasant electro of [[Justice|Justice]]?\n\nA bit of [[Bowie|Bowie]]?\n\n
You do the right thing and grab hold of the green bin by the handle. It's a wheely bin so you just grab the handle and wheel it up the path. The handle is slick with miserable drizzle though and your hands feel wet and dirty as soon as you finish putting the bin back in place.\n\nNo one else will mention it or appreciate it but you feel better for taking care of this trivial chore before you embark on your Sunday afternoon of greasy breakfast, bad conversation and action-filled spy films.\n\nHead over to the [[bus stop|Bus Stop 1]] now before you miss the bus. You're pretty sure you've still got four minutes left before it arrives.
Ah, money. There's never enough of it. You live in a small flat, your credit card is maxed out, and your overdraft is constantly pushing at the limits of what your bank think is acceptable.\n\nStill, you always have enough for food, bills, and entertainment so you're doing better than most. You begin to check the change in your pocket. The bus company only accepts EXACT change so you check you have exactly enough - no more, no less. \n\nThat wastes some time, in fact the bus should really be here by [[now|Bus Stop 4]]...
You try putting some lyrics together using objects you see on the street. This is not a successful song writing method.\n\nYou see a dog, you try to think of something you could sing about the dog. You realise that even a dog would think you were mental if you started singing at it so you leave it alone.\n\nYou think back to the man who used to stand outside of Boots and sing into a toy microphone for money. It was funny but sad. You used to own the same toy microphone when you were younger, you were never desperate enough to use it to earn money.\n\nYou then begin to construct an elaborate fantasy where you take up a career busking on the streets using inadequte toy instruments.\n\nIs this what happens to people who go mad? Did they spend too much time at a bus stop alone with their thoughts?\n\n[[Where is the bus|Bus Stop 5]]?
Aaron Smithies aka @SnarkandFury
